“Because” Just Isn’t The Answer
Children are inquisitive by nature. When they are younger, it’s usually because they want to better understand something. When they are older, it’s because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Regardless of their age, it’s imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.
Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it’s important that they be home from their friend’s home at a certain time or why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks “Why?” or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that only adds to the child’s frustration and confusion.
Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation. When they question “Why?” or “Why not?” it’s best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning. “I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist’s office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can’t be late.” It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. “If you are not home by 10 p.m., you’ll be grounded from going to your friend’s house for a week.” Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.
Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker. So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it’s their way of understanding their world around them.
More Articles
Expect Only The Best From Your Child
Get Involved In Your Child’s Activities, Hobbies And School
Interrupt Your Child’s Interruption Habit
The Keys To Effective Discipline
Encouraging Play Encourages A Child’s Development
Harsh Discipline: Does It Do More Harm Than Good?
Constructing Your Child’s Healthy Sense Of Self Esteem
Related Products And FREE Videos
More Articles
Positive Praise For Your Child’s Pride
... behaviors. It s a great way to encourage constructive future behavior. When you give praise you are giving your child a feeling of positive feedback, which increases their sense of confidence, self esteem and abilities. When you praise your child, you are pointing out the way they ve acted, an action ...
Tactics For Tackling A Toddler’s Temper Tantrum
... activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. And choose your battles: consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn't. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst. Make sure your child isn't acting up simply because he or she isn't getting enough ...
Harsh Discipline: Does It Do More Harm Than Good?
... parent will most likely discourage the behavior that has driven them in the past to punish too harshly. In order to encourage positive behavior deserving of praise, parents might want to consider giving their child a task they know they re able to accomplish, and praise their efforts along the way. Parents ...
Consistency Is Key To Successful Discipline
... parameters with your former spouse and your child in advance, so that if discipline is needed, the consequences of such misbehavior are well understood in advance. Any disagreements between parents should be discussed out of the child s earshot. Consistency is about being strong and standing firm, even ...
Our Ever-Changing Role As A Parent
... have discovered they have their own unique personality and temperament. You ve probably unconsciously redeveloped your parenting skills around the individual needs of your child. And no two children are exactly alike, and therefore, neither should your parenting style. Some children may need more guidance ...