Stressed Teenagers Need You!
Why would anybody ever think of teenage management? Teenagers don’t have families to cause them stress. They don’t have jobs or in-laws. Might teenage management be just another buzz term?

Distress or Eustress

Teenagers have an assortment of stresses in their lives, but we must not try to extinguish them all. If we want to introduce teens to teenage management, we must first teach them to distinguish between bad (distress) and good (eustress).

* Distress is a negative force that leaves its victim wallowing in despair, unproductive, and frustrated.

* Eustress is a positive force that leaves its owner happy, productive, and anticipating good.

If not taught this first lesson of teenage management, teens may resort to destructive and abusive habits.

Teenage Management at Home

Your teen’s will likely begin at home. It may, in fact, have first made itself known when he was a toddler. The ongoing determination to gain independence is, in itself a stressor. Teenagers have other stressors, too, that originate within the home.

* Changes in their bodies
* Complexion problems
* Unsafe living conditions due to parental abuse
* Chronic illness in the family
* Family financial problems
* Separation or divorce of parents
* Death of a loved one
* Death of a family pet

Such stressors, if allowed to go unmanaged, can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, physical illness, or poor coping skills such as drug and/or

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alcohol use. Teenage management is needed to cope with at home.

Teenage Management at School

School introduces additional stressors into your teen’s life.

* Academic demands and the frustration of not meeting them
* Problems with friends and peer pressures
* Changing schools
* Teachers’ too-high expectations
* Taking on too many activities

These stressors, too, call for teenage management techniques.

Teenage Management Techniques

If you are involved with teenagers, you can give them specific teenage management techniques they can use. These ten will get them started.

1. Go to bed on time. Teenagers’ bodies need more rest than most of them get. can be handled better by a well-rested teen.

2. Get up on time. A day that begins with a rush begins with stress.

3. Simplify and un-clutter your life. You don’t have to do everything.

4. Pace yourself. Allow extra time for big projects. Space them out so you aren’t faced with many difficult tasks at once.

5. If you can’t do anything about a situation, don’t think about it. This includes the changes in your body and complexion.

6. Live within your budget. Don’t use credit cards.

7. Be quiet and listen. That alone will keep a lot of at bay.

8. Laugh and then laugh again. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

9. Be kind to unkind people rather than get angry at them.

10. Develop a forgiving attitude. You won’t feel distress if you can forgive.

Behind Teenage Management

Whenever we find ourselves in a situation that appears to be difficult, or might be painful, our minds and bodies undergo changes that prepare us to respond. This "fight, flight, or freeze response” turns on the reaction.

Happily, the reaction can be turned off the same way. If we decide that the situation is not difficult or dangerous, our minds and bodies can undergo changes that help us relax and calm down. This "relaxation response" turns on a sense of well-being.

If we can enable teens to develop a "relaxation response" through teenage management, they will feel less helpless and more in control.

Parents Applying Teenage Management

Fathers and mothers can apply teenage management in a number of ways.

* Learn management techniques and set an example by using them in your own life. You are the best role model for your teenager.

* Counsel your child while he or she is young regarding changes they can expect in their bodies and their lives.

* Be alert to signs that your teenager is being negatively affected by stress. Think through ways of reducing specific stressors.

* Teach your teenager the management techniques you learned. Include breathing relaxation and progressive muscle relaxation.

* Listen to your teenager with your heart as well as your ears.

* Watch your teen’s schedule to be sure he or she is not taking on too much.

* Be sure your teenager knows daily that he or she is loved by you.

Teenage management will succeed best if it is taught with love, and supported consistently by your own example.

© 2007, Anna Hart. Anna brings to her writing her professional training and expertise as an educator. When she writes at www.stressmanagementblog.com about teenage management, she does so from her experience teaching high school students in three different countries. Anna invites you to read more on her blog about the reality of teenage management.